Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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