You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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