So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
