guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
