I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
