we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
