is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
