I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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