Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
