Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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