Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
