Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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