IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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