it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
