She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
