If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
