Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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