Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think i have herpe
just one?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
