Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I only lived at night.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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