Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
