When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
