I only kidnapped one of them. chill
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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