My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
