so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
