Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
