At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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