hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
