its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
