i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
