My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
