Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
