This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Come on in and take your pants off
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