You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
