Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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