did you get engaged???
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
