i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
