I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
