Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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