There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's never too late to be topless.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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