Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
