it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I hope mine doesn't look like that
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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