You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
