I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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