i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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