So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
