i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
