Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
