called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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