You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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