I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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