I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
