You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
